Visualize yourself at 75.
Not in a dramatic way — just pause and picture it. Your physique. Your walk.
Your elder days not as hectic as they used to be.
Now imagine the people you love most — your children, your grandchildren — living full, busy lives. You’re proud of them. You don’t want to interrupt. But you also miss them. You miss the noise, the laughter, the small interruptions that used to fill your home. It all seems like just yesterday. You sigh, and realize —decades flew by so fast, and you feel an emptiness deep within you.
This is the inner world many of our aging parents and grandparents live in every day.
And most of us rarely stop to imagine it. Yet one day, we will be the elder in the family. And the way we treat our elders today is a preview of the world we’re building for ourselves.
I invite you into this article series to inspire Peace Between Generations —where I explore the emotional side of aging, family connection, and what it really takes to feel at peace with the people we love most.
Whether you’re an adult trying to support an aging parent… or an elder wondering where you fit in a fast‑moving world… this series is for you.
I’ve also created a simple Family Connection Tool, where you can confidentially explore how tuned-in you are to the elders in your family or circle of life. So let’s get started.
The Silent Drift Away From Family Connection
We spend so much time making sure our families are taken care of — partners, kids, grandkids — but elders often slip out of the center of our circle. Why is this so? In many cultures, the aged are viewed as futile to society. Their need for joy, meaning, contribution and quality of life are obliterated.
COVID made this belief painfully clear. Seniors were isolated for months, sometimes years. Many lost their sense of purpose. Many felt forgotten. Many left this world, depressed.
And even now, the emotional aftershocks remain:
- loneliness
- depression
- feeling “unnecessary”
- a quiet grief for the life they once had
An elderly gentleman in his 90’s, whose sons and grandchildren were doctors, and wealthy daughters lived exuberant lives, all within the same town, frequently complained of loneliness. At every family gathering that he was invited to, he would openly state, “I live on my own, nobody comes to visit me, nobody phones me. I’m so lonely.” To which each of his children unabashedly replied, “Oh I’m so busy.” The man finally passed on, depressed.
The Cultural Shift When No Contact Is Fashionable
We also live in a time where trends like “No Contact,” the purposeful cutting-off ties with family or loved ones, have normalized emotional distance from parents and older relatives. While boundaries are sometimes necessary, this trend has created a cultural permission slip to disconnect — sometimes without reflection. Most often with overt cruelty.
On a recent Oprah Winfrey podcast on “No Contact,” several youngsters and adults justified their cutting-off relations with family. Some for no reason, others for minor conflicts, and yet others for deeper traumatic experiences.
From decades of coaching with elders, adults and youngsters I can say with clarity that the negative long term effects of “no contact,” on one’s own psyche are unavoidable. Faces and places may change but unresolved mental/emotional conflict is carried as a heavy bag wherever one goes.
Why This Topic Matters
Families are only truly at peace when all our members are supported — including our elders. And one day, no matter your age and stature today, you will be in their place.
My blog series is an invitation to rethink how we see our life cycle and aging, how we treat our elders who mirror our soon to be own selves, and how we can bring more dignity, joy, and connection into their lives — and into our own.
“It takes a village to raise a child,” but it takes a compassionate family to nurture ageing.
In the next article, I'll explore this
If you ever wondered what it feels like to watch the world move forward while your own world grows smaller, then be sure to read the next article where I address this.
Resources At The End Of This Series:
- Free to download the free PDF of the 7 Emotional Needs Of Elders. A Guide for Families Who Want to Bring More Peace, Connection & Dignity Into Aging
- Peace Of Mind Indicator. Free online tool for understanding how connected you are to your elders, accessed after downloading the free Ebook.
- Book a quick call for a consult with Dr. Vie
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